Taste My Comedy

You know that little voice in the back of your mind that tells you the right thing to do? I'm sexually attracted to that voice, and I make it call in sick to work after a long night of consentual love

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Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico, United States

I am a sexually active 23 year old male, I have no pets, I go to the Universtiy of New Mexico and I admittedly have a few personal insecurities, but nothing that most people don't feel, I mean come on sure I'd love to look like Brad Pitt but not everyone can fit into this Hollywood stereotype fantasy, yeah I'm going bald, so what, you wanna fight. I'm gonna go have a drink.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Me And Murph Are No Longer Speaking

So Murph and I got into a pretty bitter war of words recently... It's a long story involving Rufio from the movie "Hook" and his entire family, Best Buy electronics stores, and Myspace.com. Ok, I'll briefly recount the arguement:

(Best Buy Commercial playing on TV)

Murph: "Hey thats Dante Basco, Rufio from Hook"

Me: "No. Thats not him. He's dead."

Murph: "Yes, it is him."

Me: "No it isn't! This is the biggest mistake of your life and you are the dumbest person in the world!"

Murph: "Prove it."

Me: "Bangerang."

So after roughly 17 hours of internet research I discovered in a strange twist of fate that the guy in the commercial was infact Dante's brother Dion. So, I was vindicated, but it was a bitter sweet victory for me as we have not spoken since...

That was almost an hour ago and still no word.

Look, I know that Hook killed Rufio in the final battle betweeen the Pirates and Lost Boys. Intellectually I know that. But sometimes I like to think he's out there somewhere, looking down on us, and smiling when he causes irreconcilable fueds.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

LaRussa comes out of the closet after 72 years of silence; Gargamel shocked, chases smurfs

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

United Nations Announces Greatest Name, World Weeps, For Joy

Since the beginning of time man has had one question that has plagued his very existance. It has been pondered over and debated for centuries. Empires have risen and fallen just to answer one great query... what's the coolest name? Throughout the cold war Russia and America argued whether it was Trevor or Uri, this resulted in the uneasy "Corey Truce" of 1989. Now in an official ruling hoping to end the bloodshed for good and restore peace in the Middle-East the U.N has announced today that the coolest name ever is - Gargamel. Yes, Gargamel... more recently made popular by the dick-nosed villain in the mid-80s TV show "The Smurfs", this name is traced back to Biblical roots, and is believed by many scholars to be Moses' middle name. So now once and for all this controversy is finally settled. I am assuming this will usher in an unprecidented era of peace and harmony throughout the world, and maybe Jesus will even come back (possibly in some Gargamel type form, so that we can recognize him). Goodnight, and good luck...

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Super Bowl Teaches

Well another Super Bowl has come and passed, the great plays, the action, the commercials and once again I am truely humbled. I don't know about you but I learned alot. Especially sometime in the first half after I had taken a bunch of vicaton and drank about 10 beers and the Dove self esteem fund commercial came on. It really opened my eyes. They really know their audience. Me and the 35 drunk guys around me all just paused, looked at each other, and just cried. The game didn't seem so important anymore, and for that brief moment we all just exposed our souls. Then I think I passed out for like a few minutes and when I came to there were 2 girls stripping on one of the tables. It really made me think... you know... all of a sudden that fucking Dove commercial didn't seem too important, I mean these two girls were really going at it! I've got the pictures on my phone, trust me. Then I think I shot up some heroine or ate a burger or something, I dont't know, I was so drunk... Anyway in the end Dove spent like $3 million that they could have used to help people, for a 30 second commercial spot during the Super Bowl. I think it's money well spent, I mean nothing is more closely associated with the NFL than Dove soap. Bravo Dove! And Bravo Super Bowl! ... I'm still pretty drunk...